Wild mushroom risotto

Our second wedding anniversary is nearly here. A memorable evening is a must, but being wedding season it's not that easy to find a rustic country hotel for a single night, let alone a guaranteed-to-be-quiet night. Our wedding guests were every bit as badly-behaved as British tradition demands. This year's brides and grooms will no doubt find their guests conform to type, too. 


Having shortlisted a few possible hotels, we hit on The Vines - a charming looking place in The Cotswolds with a restaurant I'd read was good. Room and dinner package booked, I decided to check the menu. Sure enough, there it was: wild mushroom risotto - the sole, unashamed vegetarian option. You're not exactly salivating, are you? 


As this blog grows it will no doubt end up with many more references to wild mushroom risotto. It's the token vegetarian option I've come to dread. Not only is it dreary, often adorned with nothing more than a leaf of rocket salad; it's often badly cooked, oversalted and poorly presented. At its best I've had it with balsamic vinegar and generous shavings of padano cheese. 


I'm not alone in my dislike of mushroom risotto. Uninspired and unimaginative, finding them on a menu is usually a giveaway that you're in a lazy kitchen and one where vegetarians are grudgingly catered for. Wild mushrooms don't make it better; they're just there to justify the price tag slapped on a plate of mushrooms and rice. 


There are so many other attractive, tasty, colourful vegetarian dishes you could serve. Why choose something grey? 


Many vegetarians dislike mushrooms of all varieties. The texture and taste is often used as a substitute for meat - and few vegetarians want their food to remind them of this. Vegetarian food isn't about putting something on the plate in place of a fat, juicy steak or chicken thigh. 


Texture and taste are not the only issues. I get a very weird reaction to eating mushrooms. The fancy varieties almost always get me. It's not quite hallucinogenic and not quite upset tum, but there's a definite aftertaste and unpleasantness that lasts sometimes for days. And the last thing you want from an expensive dinner is a nasty taste in your mouth - especially if you know it's coming even before you get the bill.